Worst Man's Ad

 I wanted to follow up to Worst Woman's Ad with an equally bad one for men.

The below is an example of a men's personal ad which should cause woman to run away. Not walk, run. Yet somehow...it feels like I could place this ad on Craigslist and it would fit right in. 



M4W -42 got game?

What’s up ladies? Jerry Bunderham here, looking to give you the time of your life. I’m a 42 year old, 5’ 6” wall of man looking to make the right woman feel like a queen.

Let me walk you through our first date:

First,  I pick you up at your place. You’ll know it’ll be my ‘92 Ford Fiesta pulling up when you see the bumper sticker that says “Coexist.”

Next,  we’ll go to Frankie Doodle’s diner  where I got a sweet hook up ‘cause I’m a part time fry-cook there. Ladies love a man that can cook. haha lol :-)

Usually I order the 32 oz steak. If I finish it, I’ll totally let you wear the T-shirt they’ll give me on the ride back to my place. No first date is complete without dessert and I always keep my freezer stocked with Ding Dongs. 

As we walk down the steps to my basement apartment, I’ll put my fingers to your lips, tenderly quieting our vibrant conversation. My nana lives upstairs and she's a light sleeper. 

For the next couple hours, prepare to be amazed. I don’t like to brag, but I’m one of the top ranked Call of Duty players in the nation. After you’ve seen me work my magic pwning noobs, we’ll unfold my futon and see if we can work any more magic. ;-)

In the morning you'll get to see my sensitive side while I read Hagar the Horrible to my nana as she whips us up some smiley face pancakes.

After breakfast I'll walk you a block to the bus stop where we'll part ways. You smile, close your eyes, and kiss me goodbye. You've just been Bunderhammered. You're welcome.

I’m looking for women 25-55. 420 friendly.