Sometimes, when I feel down, I look at personal ads and thank the Good Lord I’m not single. I’ve never dated during a time when online ads and phone-texting were a part of the formula and I don’t miss being single. I’d like to say this is an original piece by me, yet somehow I think it is really just a conglomeration of all the bad personal ads I’ve ever read by women.

Giving it a go- W4M 32


Let me start by saying if you’re not into overweight Asian-American women, then don’t bother. Go ahead and click the little x in the corner if you’re not interested. I don’t want any haters.

First of all let me say that I’m NOT looking for sex! If all you want is sex, then you’re looking in the wrong place mister. I prefer to take things slow and be treated like a lady.

As far as looks go I’m not perfect (5’ 2” 250lbs, but I’m working on it!), and I don’t expect you to be either, however I do want someone who takes care of himself. I have a thing with teeth. I need the man I’m dating to have great teeth! I love a good smile. And I don’t mean to be a hater, but I like my guys tall. Preferably over six feet, but I absolutely refuse to date anyone under 5’10”.

If you have any problem with kids, then you should stop reading right now because I have two boys that are the love of my life. I’m NOT looking for a baby daddy since both of my boys’ fathers are successful minor league baseball players with a very good chance at going pro. So my babies are taken care of.

Please, please, please don’t contact me unless you have a job. I’ve dated too many losers and have realized you can’t change them and they almost always end up being players or haters and I’m too old for that anymore.

As a busy, single mom, I need someone willing to cook and rub my feet after a long day (ohh I love foot rubs).  So if you want to buy me a cup of coffee sometime or go to a game, let me know. I WILL NOT reply unless you include a photo!

No haters.