Thought Splitter Firing

Blue tooth technology is a great advancement, especially in making people look stupid or self-important. Eventually, technology will make it possible to talk via stream of consciousness and I have a theory that when that day comes many people will will be able to think of two things simultaneously. That means controlling software while having a conversation or controlling two programs at once, thus greatly increasing productivity. The people who will be able to thought-split will advance, leaving thoughtful people who primarily focus on one thing at a time in the dust. 

I wanted to explore this idea in a  story and since I've fired a few dozen people or more, I thought that may be a good way to frame it.

    Listening to the little twerp was getting old. Stan wanted the little know-it-all, never-worked-for-nothin’ egghead to get to the point.

“You know, Stan, we’ve offered you opportunities: training...reeducation. We can’t force you to catch up to the rest of society if you don’t want to.”

Stan looked at the kid square in that little wireless node on his forehead. Kyle Parsons was 37-years-old, but he was still a kid to Stan. He’d worked for Kyle’s dad until old man Parsons died of a heart attack on the job and the kid was left in charge. That was damn near 10 years ago.

“You know--Mr. Parsons--” Stan paused.  Whenever Stan called Kyle “Mr. Parsons” Kyle always stopped him and told him to drop the “mister,” because he worked for a living.  Usually, they’d laugh at the lie and carry on. This time Kyle--Mr. Parsons, that is--just sat wide-eyed, waiting for Stand to continue.

    “---I, I, I’ve,” Stan stammered, “I’ve wanted to take those courses, but I can’t give up two weeks pay.”
    “You know, Stan. We train everyone we hire now on our THOUGHT READERS program, and we don’t pay for their training.”
    “Yeah, but they all grew up with THOUGHT READERS. I’d be starting from scratch.” Stan knew when the THOUGHT READERS came out it would be the future. Now you can’t even run a god damn forklift without those friggin black bumps attached to your damn forehead.
    “Stan, they may have grown up with it, but they didn’t have access to thought-splitting software. At first most of the new hires don’t get it, but after a week they get it. Now I got a couple guys operating two, even three forklifts at a time. I got a guy in Denver that’s operating every lift in the entire warehouse thorough monitors. He’s got.--”
    Behind Kyle, Stan saw in instant message pop up on his computer screen with the picture of Kyle’s wife next to it.

AP: WHAT’S UP HUN? HOW DID IT GO WITH STAN?

    “--we’re operating much more efficiently with thought splitting. we’ve moved to the next stage of THOUGHT READERS technology. You’re the last person using a manually controlled lift Stan and it’s not really....,” Kyle continued to lecture Stan about modernization and meeting increased demands from China, South America with more automation and less human resources. Stan tuned Kyle out and focused on the computer screen.
    As if it were a stock ticker, letters mechanically appeared next to Kyle’s picture.

KP: WITH HIM NOW. I SHOULD’VE HAD HIS SUPERVISOR DO IT. THIS SUCKS.

    Stan glanced away from from the screen and realized Kyle was talking more to himself than to him. The son of a bitch was though-splitting right now, thought Stan with one single strain of conscience in his out-of-date head.
   
KP: THE SEVERANCE PAY SHOULD HELP SOFTEN THE BLOW.
AP: I DIDN’T KNOW YOU GUYS STILL DID SEVERANCE PAY

    “--Now I want you to understand Stan, I’m cut my trip to Taiwan short for this. We’ve grown a lot in the past few years and against the advice of Walt, I’ve advocated for you to stay on board--”

KP: WE DON’T NORMALLY, BUT STAN’S BEEN HERE FOREVER. I’VE KNOWN HIM SINCE I WAS LIKE 12.
AP: YEAH, BUT COULDN’T YOU GET SUED FOR SPECIAL TREATMENT.
KP: MAYBE. I DON’T KNOW.
AP: HOW MUCH ARE YOU GIVING HIM?
KP: $10,000, MAYBE LESS. IDK. YOU WANT TO GO TO HAWAII NEXT WEEK?
AP: WHAT? REALLY?
KP: SURE.
AP: UMM.....YEAH!
KP: OKAY, THEN I GUESS YOU TALKED ME OUT OF A SEVERANCE. I’LL CUT US A DIVIDEND.
AP: OKAY. LOL.  GOOD LUCK HUN.


    “--you know this was our first warehouse Stan, but it’s our last to modernize and the main reason we’ve kept this facility in the dark ages has been...well frankly Stan, it’s because of you.”
    Whiskey was too goddamn expensive anymore, so Stan’s only luxury anymore was a two dollar cigarette he saved to smoke before heading off to bed. He pulled it out of his shirt pocket and lit it up in Kyle’s office.
    “Stan? What the hell are you doing? Smoking is illegal on commercial property!”
    “Why are you gonna do, Kyle? Fire me?”