June Beiber Smith-Carter

Whip yo hair. In the future.

This came from an idea I had for a satirical website called “Future Wikipedia,” which would be fake posting from the future. The below entry is meant to be a fictional Wikipedia entry made in the year 2069. Ultimately I came to this idea after wondering what sort of glass ceilings will exist in the not-to-distant future. By then a woman will have become president and maybe even (gasp!) a Mexican or a white gay male. So I thought the next obvious breakthrough would be for a an African American woman raised by celebrity lesbians.

Also I suppose I came up with this idea because my cousin kept re-posting a bunch of corny and somehow inspirational Will Smith tweets. And who doesn’t love name-dropping like a maniac?

June Beiber Smith-Carter (born April 7th, 2033) is the 53rd  and current President of the United States. Apart from her political career, she is also a best-selling author. She is the daughter of musician and performer Willow Smith and real estate mogul Blue Ivy Carter NYC.  

Born in New York City, NY her birth was highly controversial at the time due to the procedure of DNA merging used to harvest XY and XX chromosomes from two same sex partners which was still very experimental. As the granddaughter of two well known celebrities--Jay-Z and Will Smith--much of her life was lived in the public eye.

Smith-Carter’s birthday was overshadowed in the press by the assassination of the 48th President of the United States, Justin Beiber, who’d was killed on the same day by political rival Zac Ephron with the use of a poisoned blow dart. In honor of President Beiber’s death, Smith-Carter’s middle named was changed from Yellow to Beiber.  

As an undergrad at Yale University, Smith-Carter excelled in Business Ethical Law, eventually acting as chairman of the student investment squad. She went on to complete NYU's MBA program and garnered national attention as the youngest mayor in the history of New York City. During her first term as mayor Smith-Carter led an effort to reduce child labor laws in NYC’s vast systems of underground sweat shops and open up job opportunities for children under the age of 15.

After one term as mayor, Smith-Carter stepped down during a successful bid for the governorship of New York State in 2062 against the leader of the New Jersey Rebellion, Snowy Polizzi, daughter of former reality star and Italian ambassador, Snooki Polizzi.  

During the 2063 Republican National Convention, Smith-Carter’s keynote address brought her political career to national attention. In her freshman term as Governor she fought to lower the age at which children could buy assault rifles to thirteen, bringing her a widespread following in the Midwest and South. In her book, Freeing the Children she outlined the theory behind bringing opportunities to children by lifting laws thought to protect them, strengthening her support in the Midwest and South.

In the 2068 Republican primaries, she defeated the oldest living American, Rand Paul, for the Republican nomination. In the 2068 presidential campaign she unseated President William Rodham Clinton II in the largest presidential landslide in American history. At 35, she became the second youngest president after John F. Kennedy.

As president, Smith-Carter signed the American Child Freedom act, allowing children to emancipate themselves at age 13 from their parents. In foreign policy, she closed Guantanamo and was a key figure in ending the 11 year Russo-Chinese Sewage War.