Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Lonely Food Critic

I think it would amazing to write a novel comprised of posts throughout the internet. Craigslist, Facebook, Twitter, and yes...even Yelp.


Reviewer: Hank Bursel

Sushi Palace
4267 Squibble Street
Florit, ID

    When I first saw a sushi place in Florit, I thought it seemed out of place. Other than the owner of the Framing Wok we didn’t even have any Asians in Florit. I’m not even so sure Chuck counts - Chuck Zheng is the owner owner and part-time chef of the Framing Wok. He’s a retired actor and a really hilarious guy. Each time I go there he tells me funny stories about growing up in the South. He reenacts each part with a spot on accent. He has pretty good food, so I was knew the sushi place was going to have some tough competition.
   Right away the Sushi Palace is a little weird. I had to duck under an enormous white flag with a red dot on it to get in and immediately a young woman bowed at me. She asked me if I wanted to sit at bar and as usual I said: “Of course.”
    Now I quickly realized that Japanese food is different than Chinese. They don’t deep fry nearly as much stuff as Chuck and also I didn’t see any sweet and sour on the menu. So I decided to order one of the rolls the hostess recommended. Sitting at the bar in a sushi place is totally different than at Dennys or the Pork Wagon. At Sushi Palace I get to watch the chef cut up bits of fish and make the rolls. He kept talking to me in Japanese and broken English with an old, raspy voice and start laughing. I don’t know what he said and I don’t know why he kept talking to me, but I really enjoyed our time together. He comforted me and I couldn’t help but to laugh along.
    Even though I watched him make all my food, I couldn't even begin to tell you what the heck he put in there. Other than the rice - I don’t think I’ve seen any of that stuff in my entire life! But after my first bite I knew that Chuck is going to have some serious competition when it comes to Asian gourmet in Florit. Normally I rate food by how quickly it takes my mind off the fact my wife left me 7 months ago to move in back in with her mother, and let me tell you - this food did the trick. As a bonus it also kept me from thinking about my dog - Henry - who ran after her the day she left and got hit by the Swanson man. Since her mom’s been blocking my calls, I can’t even tell my wife about Henry. Truthfully she probably wouldn’t even care.
    Yes, that first bite of what I believe was called “California Roll” was amazing. It made me remember a better time when I was surrounded by friends and laughter. Not that I have had very many friends. Growing up, I was sort of a loner except at a fitness camp my mom made me got to every summer. There I met a fellow hardcore Amine fan who also wore thick glasses named Julian. We hung out a lot together and shared our food hiding places. One night during a midnight candy search a camp counselor - a hard body jock of course - woke us all up and started snooping around for loot. I panicked and stuffed all my M & M’s one by one under each of my breasts, into my belly button, and under a couple of fat rolls. The counselor never found them, but my friend was not so lucky and I decided to share what I’d hidden. For some reason the smell of the Sushi Palace “California Roll” brought bag the memory of my friend and I smacking my belly and watching the M & Ms fall out of my numerous fleshy hiding spots.
As of publishing, I’ve revisited Sushi Palace twice and the only negative thing I can say is that the stools at the bar are not forgiving to a man of girth, which really doesn't bother me all that much since I typically get most of my food to go so I can eat while I watch TV. The biggest problem with Sushi Palace is that their food is too good and most of it is gone by the time I pull into my driveway. Delivery anytime guys? I hope so!

Four and a half our out of five stars.

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