I'm Gay and I Work at Chick-Fil-A

 Since the story of Chick-Fil-A's CEO denouncing same-sex marriage came out, I've thought about writing a piece from the perspective of a gay CFA employee. Statistically, CFA has to employee at least a few homosexuals considering how many people they employ. In fact, after writing this piece, I found a really great, non-fiction piece written anonymously by an honest-to-goodness lesbian Chick-Fil-A employee. Check it out at the The Daily Beast.

   
From the Countertop of Derick Hill: A Fast Food Connoisseur's Confession


by Derick Hill

For those of you who follow my blog regularly and read carefully, you all know I’m a fast food worker and I love fast food. Every new item in every national chain is reviewed here the week it debuts. From burger to salads, from bacon sundaes to deep fried cheese curds--you can get the scoop here and I appreciate all my readers (don’t forget to donate!). But this week I’m going to veer away from my normal review. As some of you know, I’m gay. As all of you know, I’m a fast food worker--but what I’ve kept secret is which fast food restaurant I work at. It may come as a surprise to you that I work at the decidedly anti-gay Chick-Fil-A.

Now if you live in a cave or only use the internet to read my blog, then you may not have heard that Chick-Fil-A has caused a bit of stir lately what with the CEO decrying gay marriage and everything. It’s not like it was a big secret or anything. Every manager is given a bible and we get every Sunday off (which is nice). The biggest problem with Mr. Chick-Fil-A himself making the stance public is now I have another secret. The first secret is the one I keep at work (I’m not out, for obvious reasons) and now, to avoid guilt trips, I usually don’t tell my gay friends where I work. Well, I thought about it and I’m just too big for two closets, so here I'm telling the world: Yes, I’m gay and I work at Chick-Fil-A.

Some people see it as a contradiction for a gay man to work at a corporation that supports Christian Conservative values, but it’s not the worst thing in the world. Telling dates that I spend all day handling cock-meat is a great way to break the ice and I get all the free chicken sandwiches I can eat. For a bear like me (215 and hairy as the day is long, thank you very much!) working in a place with as much Chick-n-Strips as I can eat in an 8-hour shift is a major financial benefit.

    In all seriousness, the people at Chick-Fil-A are the nicest group of people I’ve ever met. As long as I can put aside their systemic and dogmatic hatred of me and anyone I may want to have a relationship with, then we get along swimmingly. I know some of my friends think I’m crazy, but  let me tell you, I’ve worked at a lot of fast food joints and Chick-Fil-A pays the best and offers great medical benefits (which I’m gonna need with all fried chicken I eat!).
    Truth be told, I come from a Southern Baptist home and the years I’ve spent overcoming what I call the “Sexual Miseducation of Derick Hill” left me alone and without much family. When I interviewed with Chick-Fil-A four years ago, it felt like home. Just like my family, they wanted to fill my head with a self-hatred disguised as religion and clog my arteries with food disguised as nutrition. Sometimes we all wear comfortable clothes that we may have outgrown simply because they are familiar.
    And that’s what it is, isn’t it? It’s easy and comfortable for me to stay put. Everyone does it. Maybe you don’t recycle when you’re out of town cause you “don’t want to impose” on your hosts, or you don’t speak up after you hear a racist joke, or maybe you want to lose some pounds but don’t want to give up your daily drive-through--hey, I get it. Believe me, I get it. So, the next time you come to my counter and order your chicken sandwich with a pickle in it,  I’ll be sure to serve it with a smile. I may even judge you the same way you may judge me, assuming you’re like the rest of the country: equal parts human and hypocrite.